


Your Mess is Mine

by tiny_gay_robot



Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: Discussions of Past Trauma, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_gay_robot/pseuds/tiny_gay_robot
Summary: Moving in together, means sometimes you gotta clean up after each other.
Relationships: Kazanari Tsubasa/Yukine Chris
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Your Mess is Mine

Ogawa stared at Chris as serious as he had ever been in his entire life.

“Are you certain that you are up to this challenge?” His voice was sharp, intense, the words of a man who had trained every aspect of his being to absolute perfection.

“Yes.” Chris said seriously, staring down the ninja with an intensity she normally reserved for placing shots meant to destroy abominations from other worlds.

“It will require undo discipline, incredible resolve, and patience like you have never known.” He warned her cautiously. “Are you absolutely certain?

“Yes I am.” Chris said, staring daggers into his eyes.

The two stared at each other from across both ends of her kitchen, neither blinking. Neither giving an inch, neither making any movement to indicate they were backing down.

“Well, if you are absolutely certain.” He said closing his eyes, opening one and grinning at her, finally bursting the bubble and making them both erupt into fits of stifled laughter. Neither wanting to wake the sleeping idol in Chris’s bedroom.

Or rather, Chris and Tsubasa’s bedroom now.

“I understand. But please, if you ever need help in slaying the beasts that she creates, I am but a phone call away.” Ogawa said, wiping a tear from his eye before bowing to Chris. “As you wish, I shall leave the unpacking to you Yukine-san.”

“Go do whatever it is ninjas do on their days off.” Chris said, taking the apron he had been wearing from him and hanging it up on a nearby wall hook.  _ Do absolutely nothing to the cook _ emblazoned on it, a cheeky gift from Miku to Chris. “Besides, she’ll still need you to sort her singing shit out.”

Ogawa laughed out loud, turning to her. “Compared to this,” Ogawa gestured to the disaster that was Chris’s living room. “Organizing Tsubasa’s international touring schedule is child's play.” He said, bowing as he made his departure.

Chris laughed to herself, leaning against her couch as her eyes drifted around Ground Zero that was her apartment living room. Kazanari Tsubasa was one of the most gifted singers in the world, deft at wielding a blade, while holding infinite compassion and love for other people. But what was beyond her most impressive features, was her superhuman like ability to leave any room she lived in look like a natural disaster had hit it.

Bra on the TV? Check. Shorts on the top bookshelf? Check. Shoes on the windowsill? You better believe it. Empty soda cans on the couch? You already know the answer.

And then you add on top of that moving her into your apartment with all the things that she normally had fitting into what was meant to be an apartment for one person? Well you might as well just be a crazy person to try and tackle that beast.

And maybe.

Just maybe.

Chris was just that crazy for her.

She smiled, walking over to the shrine that she kept against the wall in her living room, offering a brief prayer, before sitting cross legged in front of her parents. Just like she used to when she was a kid.

“So I guess it’s time I told you guys.” She couldn't stop the heat from hitting her cheeks. Talking about Tsubasa to her parents always made her feel embarrassed. “You might have been able to guess, but well, I got a girlfriend.” She laughed, insecurely rubbing the back of her head.

“She’s great. Really, she’s just.” Chris blinked, smiling. “She’s the best fucking person on the planet..” She laughed again to herself, looking around at the disaster of moving boxes and thrown clothing. “When we first met, god we were just so up in our bullshit, we had no idea what we were even doing.” She closed her eyes, emotion rocking her. “I met her during a really bad time. Almost ruined it all.” 

She tried not to think about those times. The time before her life began.

“But she was in a bad place too. We nearly took each other into the depths of hell together.” She smiled, almost laughing at herself. “But we met just, the biggest dummy you’re ever likely to meet.” She laughed, letting the tears fall. “She’s such a dummy, you’d love her.” Chris breathed deep, letting out a deep sigh.

“But me and senpai...I don’t know how. But we have made it work.” Chris made grabbing motions at her hair. “She is….SO stubborn. And SO stuck in her ways, and it makes me wanna smack her.” She let it hang there, looking up at the framed picture of her parents, the two smiling down at her from heaven. “It’s why I love her. She drives me crazy, makes me feel stupidly giddy and smile even when I have no reason too.”

Chris drew her knees up to her chest, a sob escaping her in the silent apartment.

“She’s patient. She’s funny. She’s adorable.” The tears had been let out and they weren’t stopping now. “She can’t clean after herself to save her own life, she hogs all the blankets, and won’t ever let me hear the end of it if I beat her in a video game.” She laughed through her tears. “She loves me. She makes me feel loved. She…” 

Chris chewed on her lip.

“I thought I knew how it felt before. I thought I knew what being loved was, but it wasn’t it. Not like it is with her.” She looked away from her parents to the floor. “Not like how I ever thought it could be.” She shuddered against herself, feeling cold like she hadn’t in years.

“She doesn't care that I’m broken. That I’m dirty.”

Her words were a whisper now. 

“She dosn’t rush me to do things I don’t want too.”

There was shame in her voice. 

“I miss you both so much. I wish you could meet her. You’d love her.” She sniffled, “You really would.”

“I don’t know when she’ll realize that I carry such a mess, but...at least.” She laughed to herself, letting her legs stretch out. “At least I have her for now.”

Tsubasa turned the lights in the living room on, scaring Chris enough to jump to her feet screaming.

“Yukine!” There were tears streaming down Tsubasa’s face. 

“No, no, no, please don’t tell me you heard any of that.” Chris couldn't bear to look at her, holding onto the couch for support. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, and it hurt all the more because she was witnessing it first hand.

The silence between was deafening. The sounds of her girlfriend's footfalls across the floor made her flinch with every step.

“Yukine-”

“Stop. Don’t please.” She begged, shaking in place. She waited for her to continue, waited for the conversation she couldn't handle to happen, waited for her to grab her hand, or her shoulder.

And she kept on waiting.

The panic seizing her chest began to slow, and her sobs began to slowly quell. The couch was steady, the fabric nice and familiar. It was comforting. She couldn't see her, but she could sense her girlfriend close to her. Sitting on the floor, waiting for her patiently to calm herself down.

She wasn’t touching her.

She wasn’t forcing her to talk.

She loved her so much.

Chris stood up straighter, wiping her nose before sitting down on her knees once again. Looking at her parents she felt embarrassed. Like she made a mistake.

“I’m sorry.”

It was all she could say.

“You’re right.” Tsubasa responded.

“What?” She gave her a look of total confusion.

Tsubasa was smiling at her, a gentle smile that she saw too rarely. “You have me. Right here.” A smile full of sunlight greeted her. 

Chris melted to the floor, pulling a blanket around herself like a protective cocoon. It was hard to look at that kindness. Why wouldn’t she just hate her?

“And as long as you let me be here, I’ll stay here.” 

“Why?” She whispered in protest. “Why would you stay with a mess like me?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Tsubasa laughed at this, getting up and grabbing her hands, pulling her out of the blanket to her feet. There was a curious mischief in her eyes, it scared Chris in a way she never felt before.

Was this fear? 

Or excitement?

“Yukine.” Her blue eyes were blazing. “Where am I right now?” She asked, holding her hands gently.

“My living room?” Chris asked, letting her hands be held. “What are you getting at?”

“Do I not live here then?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Chris sighed, getting frustrated. “It's our living room.”

Tsubasa smirked in a way that she hated and loved. “So who’s mess is this?” 

Chris dropped her hands, looking away. She could see what she was trying to do. “Senpai, please. I appreciate it, but…” She forced herself to make eye contact. “This mess is mine.” She said gesturing vaguely to herself. She felt naked.

Tsubasa looked at her intensely for a minute, before turning away, facing her parents shrine. “I apologize for not introducing myself earlier.” She bowed respectfully, taking any word out of Chris’s mouth. “My name is Kazanari Tsubasa, and I have had the luxury of knowing your daughter as not just a colleague, an ally, or even a friend, but as a lover.” She paused, closing her eyes and clasping her hands. “She drives me crazy sometimes, but everyday it feels like the best day of my life when I get to wake up next to her.”

Tsubasa approached the shrine, tracing her fingers along the picture of the people she never got to meet. “I don’t always get too. Because of my work, sometimes I’m gone for weeks at a time, and those days feel like years.” Her voice was quiet now, but Chris didn’t miss a word. “I’ll be laying in bed, tossing and turning. Sleeping without her just feels wrong.” She clutched her pendant, close to her heart.

“So what I do is just before I fall asleep, I will pull up the pictures I have of us together and I tell her about my day.” She confessed to the shrine. “So that wherever Chris might be, she knows I’m thinking of her.”

There was a pregnant silence.

“So that wherever she may be she knows I love her.”

Tsubasa bowed to the shrine in deep respect, smiling when she felt Chris wrap her arms around her as she stood back up.

“I miss you too.” She muttered into her hair. “Everytime you’re not here it feels like the longest day of my life” She tightened her hug. For the longest time they just stood there, Chris holding onto her like she might disappear. “I wish I was not such a mess, so I could show you how much I love you.”

Tsubasa stroked the fingers clasped around her stomach.” Yu-Chris, you clean up after my messes, how could I see that as anything but a declaration of love?” There was loving mischief in her voice.

“Tsubasa…” She whispered. “I don’t mind your mess.”

“And I don’t mind yours.”

Chris stifled against her, tears she wasn’t sure she could shed at the edge of her eyes. “But…”

Turning around to be face to face with her, Tsubasa let her hand gesture around the apartment. “Whose mess is this?” She asked her, eyes brimming with love.

“Ours.” Chris choked out, throwing her arms around her neck in a sob.

“Promise to help me with my mess?”

“O-o-of course!” Chris reassured her. “I don’t mind picking up after you! I don't mind you hogging the blankets, I don’t-oh!” She was picked up off her feet and sat on the armrest of their couch. Before she could even move, a blanket cocoon was being wrapped around her once more, her girlfriend smiling at her from the outside.

“Then it would only be right of me to help you with what you call a mess.” Tsubasa said patiently, reaching in and twinking your nose.

“Tsubasa, I don’t know if I can have se-” She started, but was cut off.

”I don’t think that's your mess.” Tsubasa said with the conviction of a lightning bolt. “I want you to love yourself, as much as you love me, as much as I love you.”

Chris tightened the cocoon around herself. “No…I don’t need help with that. It’s my problem, my burden to bear, _ my  _ mess!” She argued through tears.

“That’s right.” Tsubasa said, wrapping herself in the cocoon with her. “This mess was yours, now your mess is mine.”


End file.
